I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
