There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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