I'm going to rape someone's good day.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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