from now on my penis is your penis
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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