Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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