I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
