Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
