There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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