You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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