i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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