I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
