after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
