i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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