Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize