That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
