My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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