I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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