The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
