i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
