Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize