I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
