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That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
