I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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