OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
