ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
