Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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