yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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