quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
