I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
