i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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