Will you blow on my dice?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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