Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
