So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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