Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
