Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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