I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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