i can't believe i had my finger in that
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Sorry about my life...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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