Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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