god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
