Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just had sex on a roof
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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