he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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