Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
