she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
