names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
