You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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