I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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