he shaved USA in his pubs
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
