I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
