If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
