he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
