i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
