4 words: hood of his car
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
