Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
