Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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