I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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