he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
