he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
there is glitter all over my balls
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