I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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