Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
