Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
