i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
