u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
