i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
