I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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