i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
